Oh, you humans are being silly again! Time after time I try to console you but much to my dismay, you persist in your mode of panic.
Your votes have been counted and numbers don’t lie. The United States of America has elected a new president. His name, I understand, is Donald J. Trump. He has been elected and yet he is much feared. I hear he has the power to crash stock markets and leap tall buildings in a single bound! He must be quite a character, this Mr. Trump. Can you not give him a chance?
You may think such a request is strange, coming from me. After all, I have been known to be the most liberal, freakish and foreign of goats. I myself am an immigrant, having fallen off a Mexican vegetable truck onto the streets of Chicago.
My owner, Mr. Sianis, was also an immigrant, from Greece. He even broke the plates to prove it! Of immigrants and freaks and free-thinkers I am well acquainted. So, I implore you, hear me out. You should all be breathing a sigh of relief.
How so, you ask? The man Trump is a tyrant, a dictator, a misogynist, and a Nazi! Well now. Such paltry allegations have hardly been proven. They are mere opinions. You must consider this: For the very first time in the history of your country, you have finally elected a president who has no political nor military experience! That very fact is most encouraging. Can you not see? All others that came before him had much of this so-called ‘political expertise’. Oh yes. They had military know-how. They had fund raising savvy.
They had charity involvement, Ivy League degrees, DC cronies, Wall Street cronies, special interest pals, Soros pals, Hollywood pals and apparently, a bazillion gazillion dollars to throw away on hateful advertisements!
And yet somehow, your ‘experienced’ politicians only managed to lead you into MORE wars. How do you explain this?
Your experienced politicians also managed to increase your cultural divides, pass silly laws such as NAFTA, and dissolve sensible laws such as Glass-Steagall. They have managed to close your factories, raise your taxes and make higher education quite impossible for your young people.
If you but take a look around and observe what has happened in your world you will see I am correct.
These ‘experienced’ politicians are, I daresay, experienced solely in destroying the life of the average human being. And though I am merely a goat, I am most fond of you humans. I will not have you destroyed!
I plead you, give the man Trump a chance. If, in four years you find yourself in the same situation, all hope will be lost. It will then be myself, Murphy the goat, who will be forced to serve in your White House! And I shall do it.
Until then, keep calm and count your blessings. Be compassionate. Forgive. Above all love each other, for love can overcome a great deal of fear.