The Goat Speaks

 

Oh, you silly, silly humans. Why all the nail biting, my dears? Clearly, at the beginning of this World Series, I promised you I would lift the curse.  I signed the agreement with my hoof print, did I not?

Now, a goat such as myself may possess a good deal of deceptive qualities. But one thing I guarantee is my sincerity!  A promise is a promise and I, Murphy the Billy Goat, namesake of the Billy Goat Tavern and former pet of Mr. William Sianis, am as good as my word.

The question of the Cubs winning was never in doubt.

What’s that you say? The rain? Yes, of course I sent the rain! And with it I brought a seventeen minute game delay.

There was a method to this madness, for it allowed the players to contemplate their fate. They regained their bearings and therefore could more fully appreciate their win! A well earned victory is far sweeter than a gain not toiled for.  And so it was,  I stretched that game out to all of ten innings, allowing the Cubs their spoils at just one mere point above their competitors!

What’s that you say? The suspense nearly killed you?  Well now. Surely you can guess, it is my good pleasure to watch humankind sweat. I delight in seeing you on the edge of your seats!  You are, after all, such naive creatures.  I cannot help but toy with you.  And yet, would you not agree, I created a most memorable situation? This is a game that will be etched in your minds for all of eternity.

In the end, the curse is broken. One hundred and eight years of bad luck has been ended at my bidding.

Oh, you need not thank me.  Just remember me for what I am —  a most honorable goat. I have but one request. I ask you never place me in ridiculous circumstances ever again. Leave me out of your ball parks!

Do not prop me upon your bar stools!

Do not make an advertisement of me! For the love of the cloven hoof, GIVE ME MY DIGNITY!

Instead allow me the peace of my barn and companionship of my fellow animals.  If you do so, I will watch over your Cubs  and give them cause for celebrations in many years to come. They are a young team, new in their history. They may have a most bright future.

I, the honorable Murphy, will serve them well.

** NOTE ** Read Murphy’s original story and promise here.